musing on favorites

head spinning

birds singing

procrastinating

haters hating

test i'm failing

later today

i interrupted

this flow i was building

now i sound gangster

take it to the bank, sir

three bags full sir

whitest black sheep here

slept like a baby

don't call me maybe

write proper decent music

and use it, use it.

the wind is biting.

i shouldn't but i drag and it alleviates my doubts

And slight inebriation takes the edge off darker thoughts

It started with a kiss and ended with a tired cliché

And dried mud on my brand new shoes will never go away

Iambic beats dance through my headspace

When you start to play

and just because it’s automatic i will sway

toss my hair pretend i care

when will you walk away

we stopped for water tried to order

only traffic lights keep us at bay

...just playing. feedback welcome. getting back on the horse, maybe. eh. 

watermelon nights

smoky inhalations do alleviate my doubts,

and i placidly accept the fact that

none of us is sure of what this

game is all about

i crossed your name off in my mind

and sketched you on my skin

tracing lines down that distant wall

the lights grow dim

and we all know

its time for him to sing.

plucks out a tentative string of notes

whistles a melody

riddled with shakiness,

assure you i wish i could,

regretting that drink i should

have bought you.

i imagine scotch-soaked montages

we'd share.

instead i sway and sip my beer

and breathe in the musky air.

those nights.

for You.

graduated class of 'ten
never tried to be classy then
broke all my guitar strings
trying to tune out on the din

spinning round in circles
need a ciggy for a headspin
smoking gives you cancer
only morals hold me back now.

baby hold me close tonight
pretend you care, i'll be alright
glassy eyes, pour us a glass of wine,
it'll bleed out on the floor
i'll hum along cos you're not in tune
whistle a song to change the mood
and now i ramble,
it's probably too soon.

gonna end this now 'fore I dig my grave
those pretty lights, they all did fade
please stutter me a simple tune
and i'll drive for miles to remember you.

let's go fly a kite and send it soaring

a to-do list...

1. spend a rainy day curled up watching all the john hughes/bratpack movies and eating easymac.

2. actually attempt to cook decent vegetarian dishes that require more skill and effort than easymac.

3. learn to play the guitar and harmonica. 

4. re-learn piano.

5. swim in the freezing cold ocean.

6. actually study.

7. get lost and have fun finding my way back.

8. re-attempt proper writing. 

9. go to bed early. as in, before 10pm.

10. fly a kite. 

11. go hiking.

if you don't like me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

this is a tad overdue but..

things i find strange about high school now that i am a big bad uni kid:

* not being allowed to eat in class... i find this so strange. like, you had to ask permission and have a damn good reason to be consuming anything other than H20 and pharmaceuticals in class, and even then it was a HUGE deal. i really don't understand it. you get hungry. you eat. why should one have to be totally covert like tom cruise in mission impossible in order to eat so much as a breath mint? weird weird weird.

* uniform. enough said. i love how you can go from the one extreme of it being the most focused upon thing in the school universe, to the complete and total opposite of no one even caring.

* the amount of useless, irrelevant information you are expected to consume. i feel like with uni, its all about the essentials.

* the people, and how they seem to merge together. there are people i'm friends with at uni that if i'd gone to school with them, we'd have nothing to do with one another. i also love how you get a totally fresh start, with no predisposed expectations of who you are. 

* the number of pretentious idiots. guys, it's totally ok to let your bogan flag fly, or wear trackies, or watch trashy reality tv, or engage in activities that aren't always intelligence-enriching, educational, serious, indie or all of the above. chill the eff out. 


umm thats all for now because i want to retreat to bed and read the hunger games. 
laters

"the mind has an ear of its own, and sometimes memory is the fiercest fucking DJ alive..."

(Brilliance)

hold the phone.

"they say time's a healer, but my watch can't tell the time. the left hand stuck six months ago and i can't find the right."

(Alex Day, amazing English philosopher/musician/demigod/ghost-writer of youtube slashfic/vlogger extraordinare/etc)

"just make sure you stop before it ceases to become experimentation. and remember, the feeling of greater world perspective and thought enhancement is just an illusion. it's simply your brain acting differently. you're not experiencing ultimate reality, you're not closer to the truth- you're just high."

(Um. i shall refer to the source of this beautifully worded mini-lecture as Professor of Russian Literature and Slavic Languages. he's not in the band. and he is not my dad. he might punch you.)

"when i get to heaven/i mean if i get to it/higher than planes go/but not quite space yet/no more sober notes/no more nine to five/just blue and white and ecstasy/when i get to heaven."

(Francolin, an incredible band with whom you should familiarise yourself with if you have not done so already. they have a youtube channel and are on facebook, you can listen to their stuff for free but should really support them, their ep is not expensive.)

thats all for now, just some gems i thought i'd share.

Gutenacht.