you make me ridiculously happy.

"I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind"

optimistic to the point of foolishness

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

first of all i apologise for the lack in blog action over the last few days...it has seemed endless. secondly i apologise for the hideously incorrect formatting of this post. i can safely blame both of these issues on technical difficulties, which have caused me considerable frustration. in any case, the last few days have certainly been interesting, with strong winds, lots of rain, a pacman suit, pumpkin seed bread, amusing newspaper articles and music, sweet music.

i should not be blogging now, i am procrastinating as per usual, however here is an extract from the only semblance of creativity i have been able to pull together in quite a long time. since the event we won't mention occurred...

~Closing my eyes, I took a long, heavenly drag of my cigarette, the fifth – or was it sixth – for the afternoon. As the deliciously acrid smoke filled my lungs, bringing me sweet, temporary relief, the heartache and painful memories from the past few months grew more blurred, distant as though a dream that fades quickly the minute you wake up.~

and so on and so forth.

also, i would like to share some beautiful lyrics a friend wrote and was kind enough to share with me. he does not think much of them, but i happen to think that they are touching, they struck a chord in my heart, that's for sure...
~"This whole in my heart, is filling up
but only with Dead Memories
You were here just yesterday
But now I’m left only, with old stories"

"You’re Torturing Me…
You’re Torturing Me…
You’re Torturing Me…
With that Face"~

finally, i'd like to end with a picture of Saint Hepburn, more commonly known as Audrey Hepburn, for whom i have great respect and admiration. alas, due again to technical difficulties (read: i want to punch my computer in the screen), i cannot.
so instead i'll end on a quote:
"as Miss Golightly was saying before she was RUDELY interrupted..."

"You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. "

spread the love. share the simple beauty. taste the rain. remember the important ones. much love.

"let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure"

happy space.

ichiban ski na tomodachi.

tradition, year second.

kawaii



can moments like this please last longer?
if i focused on these memories i'd be so much stronger.
merriment abounded in abundance that day,
simple songs sung as though we were children again,
and we held hands as we skipped along our cheerful way.
a break in the storm, an island in a churning sea
that threatens to swallow us whole,
but for that one day, nothing could touch us,
and our worst concerns were dubious-looking green foam
in a throwaway cup, and the chance of missing our tram.
for too brief a moment, we were innocent once more,
but then that ended with the sliding shut of the glass train door.
i'll cherish this day.
***

a pinch and a punch? yeah.that hurt.

"i can't let go of what's in front of me..."
it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
and usually, it's not you.
i can't even blame you, because you have no idea how i feel or how much it tears me apart that i can't have you.
what do i have to do to break you from your reverie and realise that i've been here forever, and will always be waiting?
should i give up? it's hard to do, given the circumstances.
pain and pleasure twisted together in a cruel whip of reality.
"so i lift my hands and pray to be only yours"

that night...was it a mistake, a game with our emotions hidden behind a smokescreen of mortal fatigue?

the memory is very much a nightmare tinged with love, or a dream tainted with pain...

"leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream." because it barely feels real.

External Hard-Drive

"You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your life
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments when my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun"

i discovered this song by accident in my itunes today and was pleasantly surprised. :) today was wonderful, the first day of spring hooray! although hardly spring weather... however the cherry blossoms are lovely. i had cake today...i really should be trying to eat healthier, i tell myself this everyday. but then, it's a special occasion, or i can't be bothered putting effort into making healthy food, or i need cheering up...and that bounty cake looked amazing. plus i shared it so therefore it does not count. HA.

a very kawaii person sang me a song today...it was quite lovely.
"aruko, aruko, watashi wa genki, aruko no daisuki, don don yu kou"
and so on and so forth. it reminds me of the simpler things in life, that often make me the happiest.
in the words of the Amazing and Beautiful Audrey Hepburn:
"happy girls are the prettiest"
...i have so much respect for that woman. she is truly inspirational.

for my girls:
it rained today, the weather was horrid,
but you made me laugh anyway.
they might think we're crazy but we don't care.
you honestly light up my day.
sometimes your presence is all i need,
i'm rhyming and it's so cliche
but i make no apologies because you won't let me,
in the summertime we'll make daisy chains, roll down hills and have grass fights.
because i just love you, and that's what we do.

on an end note:


"Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile"

Jya, Ne. ex oh ex oh.