Wednesday, June 9, 2010

musings about bowler hats and things.

"The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you when a friend tries to stab you right in the face"

a whirlwind of emotions, compressed into a knot of unease in the pit of my stomach, pushed to the back of my overworked brain, a closet overflowing, doors forced shut, on the verge of explosion.
tears suppressed, mask of calm and collection collected and arranged, facade set carefully in place. and all for their sake.

cue the fake enthusiasm, all smiles and the laughter so easily forced, it sounds natural now. the nonchalance is reflex, and over time i have developed quite a talent for spinning poetic bullshit. all for their sake.

a dam builds. the walls strain, lips tremble, and then a feather lands ever-so-lightly on the apex of the build-up and it all comes crashing down. the doors burst open, floodgates let loose, stifled emotion released. and then its quite, the storm subsides for a few moments, only to be replaced by crashing waves of remorse and guilt, partially undeserved. all for your sake.

then you turn it around and throw it cruelly back in my face, blithely unaware of the pains to which i've gone for your sake. do what ye will, "label me little, lest one day i dare to grow"

i've had. enough.

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