first attempt

Bare walls, blindingly white,
Rain falls, I open the window,
Wish for silence, I am denied it,
Don’t want to talk, suddenly it’s quiet.
Sinfully peaceful, disturbingly calm,
I don’t deserve this; I’m just marking time,
A fork in the road, neither option appealing,
Screams penetrate my slumber, through doors and the ceiling,
Beseeching blue eyes piercing my thoughts,
Fighting my own resistance, always fighting,
Told them I walked away, but I know I’m hiding,
Unjustly worshipped, unfairly scorned,
If I leave or return, either way torn.
And there’s always the war.