Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
those nights that make our heads spin.
it's moments like these, that make me realise just how lucky i am.
stockings ripped all up the sides...
i find i procrastinate way too much. i become increasingly lazy day by day, just sitting, wasting time, letting the world pass me by. i hope this ends soon. there is so much to do these days, and not enough motivation to do the things there are to do. (bad sentence)
perhaps when my life starts back up again for real, education will create work for my idle hands. i am finding my new life, which is yet to start properly, vastly different from the previous thirteen years of schooling. i had no idea until now, just how much of a shock to my system it is to break from the routine that i was only partially aware of being caught up in. hopefully soon, i shall develop new, comfortable routines, and familiarity will be restored to my life once more. or perhaps familiarity ends with the silver spoonfeeding and handholding that was high school, and i'll have to become a person of change, as someone presumably wise said today. as for the lack of handholding, i find comfort in the amount of support being offered to me. i just have to kick the laziness, and get myself the support i may need. because there are no more silver platters on my horizon. which i suppose is good, in a way. we all need to grow up eventually. i wish i didn't have to sometimes. it'd be nice to be like peter pan...
perhaps when my life starts back up again for real, education will create work for my idle hands. i am finding my new life, which is yet to start properly, vastly different from the previous thirteen years of schooling. i had no idea until now, just how much of a shock to my system it is to break from the routine that i was only partially aware of being caught up in. hopefully soon, i shall develop new, comfortable routines, and familiarity will be restored to my life once more. or perhaps familiarity ends with the silver spoonfeeding and handholding that was high school, and i'll have to become a person of change, as someone presumably wise said today. as for the lack of handholding, i find comfort in the amount of support being offered to me. i just have to kick the laziness, and get myself the support i may need. because there are no more silver platters on my horizon. which i suppose is good, in a way. we all need to grow up eventually. i wish i didn't have to sometimes. it'd be nice to be like peter pan...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"someday, if we're both pushing 30 and single, and our body clocks are ticking, i'll marry you."
i'm not sure why i refuse to eat, while my head spins and my heart pounds to a non-existent beat. and i really hope i don't begin again the same way as before, first the window, then it's to the floor. organisation has never been my strong point, and my first impressions nearly always disappoint, hence why my motto is try everything at least twice, because your first encounter with another person won't show you what they're like. that's just my advice.
what do you do when it all falls apart?
falling. one of life's greatest ways of kicking you in the stomach and making you feel worse than you could ever imagine feeling. falling means failure, hurt, humiliation, loneliness, and a few other things. i have been falling for quite some time. i used to constantly fall in love, with people and places and words. falling in love with people hurts a lot, as i'm sure most people are aware of. i don't really need to go into that. falling in love with places and words is less painful, but it does suck when those places or words disappoint you by not turning out to be what you thought, or disappear. or sometimes you ruin it for yourself, and that sucks even more than if it's not your fault.
falling physically is pretty bad also. recently, i fell down some stairs whilst intoxicated. it wasn't fun at all. it was embarrassing, and it really hurt. i have a lovely cut on my shin to remind me of that now. i also fell onto a person on the train yesterday, which was bad because they were none too impressed. which is perfectly understandable.
but the worst kind of falling is the metaphorical kind, the emotional, the psychological. the feeling that the world is caving in around you, or that everyone else is moving forward and loving it, and you're left behind, confused and alone. frustrated and a little sad. you feel like you haven't a friend in the world, and when you really need a shoulder to cry on, there's none available. because your usual shoulders are taken by others, or too busy being dry and enjoying life to be soaked with tears.
my intention is not to alienate or accuse. i am thankful every day of the week and twice on sundays for my amazing friends, and how they are always there for me and put up with me. at the risk of sounding a bit cliche, i just love my friends. i don't think i could get from A to B without them. i just wish i sometimes stopped to think instead of doing stupid things that make me hurt for days on end after. because it's not even worth it half the time. here's hoping my personal raincloud goes away sometime soon. because apparently, the world is my oyster. pah, we'll see.
falling physically is pretty bad also. recently, i fell down some stairs whilst intoxicated. it wasn't fun at all. it was embarrassing, and it really hurt. i have a lovely cut on my shin to remind me of that now. i also fell onto a person on the train yesterday, which was bad because they were none too impressed. which is perfectly understandable.
but the worst kind of falling is the metaphorical kind, the emotional, the psychological. the feeling that the world is caving in around you, or that everyone else is moving forward and loving it, and you're left behind, confused and alone. frustrated and a little sad. you feel like you haven't a friend in the world, and when you really need a shoulder to cry on, there's none available. because your usual shoulders are taken by others, or too busy being dry and enjoying life to be soaked with tears.
my intention is not to alienate or accuse. i am thankful every day of the week and twice on sundays for my amazing friends, and how they are always there for me and put up with me. at the risk of sounding a bit cliche, i just love my friends. i don't think i could get from A to B without them. i just wish i sometimes stopped to think instead of doing stupid things that make me hurt for days on end after. because it's not even worth it half the time. here's hoping my personal raincloud goes away sometime soon. because apparently, the world is my oyster. pah, we'll see.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
lovely lyrics
"driving away from the wreck of the day and i'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus. 'coz love doesn't hurt so i know i'm not falling in love i'm just falling to pieces..."
"2 am and i'm still awake writing a song if i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. and i feel like i'm naked in front of a crowd 'coz these words are my diary screaming out loud and i know that you'll use them however you want to"
"armed with this small butterfly net only, i will face the world alone and never be lonely. so calm that wicked wind, and if you go, you could be gone forever. i will play awhile here by and by and by and by"
"though i'd like to look down at the earth from above, i would miss all the places and people i love, so although i might like it for one afternoon, i don't want to live on the moon."
"sure, i've got pictures of my own of all the people and the places that i've known. here's one i'm carrying your suitcase out of alphabet city."
"i would choose the darkest horse, that's the horse i'd ride. the stables would be shadowy and we'd start the race behind. they'd take their feet and toss their hats and yell out in surprise. you wouldn't need binoculars, you'd see it with your own two eyes."
"will you tell me what you saw and i'll tell you what you missed, when the ocean met the sky. you missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye."
"the ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in? in your head, in your mouth, in your soul. and maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old. well i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i hope so."
"2 am and i'm still awake writing a song if i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. and i feel like i'm naked in front of a crowd 'coz these words are my diary screaming out loud and i know that you'll use them however you want to"
"armed with this small butterfly net only, i will face the world alone and never be lonely. so calm that wicked wind, and if you go, you could be gone forever. i will play awhile here by and by and by and by"
"though i'd like to look down at the earth from above, i would miss all the places and people i love, so although i might like it for one afternoon, i don't want to live on the moon."
"sure, i've got pictures of my own of all the people and the places that i've known. here's one i'm carrying your suitcase out of alphabet city."
"i would choose the darkest horse, that's the horse i'd ride. the stables would be shadowy and we'd start the race behind. they'd take their feet and toss their hats and yell out in surprise. you wouldn't need binoculars, you'd see it with your own two eyes."
"will you tell me what you saw and i'll tell you what you missed, when the ocean met the sky. you missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye."
"the ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in? in your head, in your mouth, in your soul. and maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old. well i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i hope so."
Friday, February 4, 2011
craving veggie tempura.
so, i saw this absolutely hilarious notebook that is just so appropriate for me it's not funny. only er, it is kind of funny. i only wish i'd had the sense to take a photo of it...
*wistful sigh*
you wonderful typo notebook you, we shall soon be together! as soon as i get myself to a typo store near me, anyway.
to cut a long blog post short, the notebook in question is a delightfully witty item that uses expletives in a delightful, endearing way. the words on the front of this notebook read as follows: "f**k you and your blog"
charming, no?
this notebook has now been added to the alarmingly fast-growing list of things i must have. gosh, i really need to become less materialistic, or marry rich.
*wistful sigh*
you wonderful typo notebook you, we shall soon be together! as soon as i get myself to a typo store near me, anyway.
to cut a long blog post short, the notebook in question is a delightfully witty item that uses expletives in a delightful, endearing way. the words on the front of this notebook read as follows: "f**k you and your blog"
charming, no?
this notebook has now been added to the alarmingly fast-growing list of things i must have. gosh, i really need to become less materialistic, or marry rich.
your lips are moving but all i hear is...
BLAH...BLAHH...BLAH.
and then some.
awwh, cheese and whiskers! nobody cares and no one wants to hear it, the sound is grating and penetrates the skull in a most unpleasant way, and that look on your face like you've just stepped in cat vomit, and we haven't even gotten to your insistence that you seem to know it all - even the stuff that you are yet to discover. i suppose you could be psychic, but i don't buy into that sugar honey iced tea so that excuse wouldn't work for me anyway. - speaking of tea, i am in love with the strawberry flavoured iced tea at tea two, and one day hope to own one of their beautiful tea sets. note to self: must start drinking tea so that i can justify buying pretty patterned tea pots. but i digress.
where were we? oh, right. please, stop, talking. i cannot name names but in my mind there is a very clear picture of the intended recipient for this message. and seeing as this is where a lot of the things from my mind end up - a catchment for thoughts, if you will (considering it has been pouring with rain i thought i might throw in some water imagery) - i am thinking this is the appropriate place to vent my current frustrations, which i have harboured for quite some time. back to whom it should concern... when you speak, it more oft than not sets people's teeth on edge, and makes them want to commit semi-violent acts. or at least tell you to firme la bouche. or le bouche. i don't really speak french, so i stand corrected on that phrase. please remember, you are entitled to your own opinion, but you don't always have to voice it, and if you really must, please voice it as just that - an OPINION. and on that note, others are entitled to opinions also. so stop, in the name of love, before i break your face. just kidding. but seriously, you need to cease and desist with the tone of voice which conveys that you are of the belief that the words that come out of your mouth are the be-all and end-all of polite conversation, and try very hard to get out of the habit of shooting others down with that ever-annoying 'no...' when they dare to contradict you.
it's not polite, it's not endearing, it's downright unattractive and will lose you friends fast, especially in the chapter of your life that you are about to enter into.
while i am all for healthy debate, and power to you for having such strong opinions, there is a fine line between opinionated and pig-headed. please remember this, and perhaps get a prescription for some glasses if you find you are struggling to see this line.
thankyou.
now, on a happier note, a list of things that are lovely and that in my humble opinion (see what i did there?), should be tried at least twice.
- vegetable tempura
- flavoured iced tea
- music of an unfamiliar genre
- rollerblading
- measuring people's heads with a tape measure whilst on a train
- an activity outside of your comfort zone/usual interests
- viewing a live performance such as a ballet, opera or play
- a tv show/movie in a different language. japan has some great ones, i strongly reccomend deathnote, nana and swing girls.
ciao for now.
and then some.
awwh, cheese and whiskers! nobody cares and no one wants to hear it, the sound is grating and penetrates the skull in a most unpleasant way, and that look on your face like you've just stepped in cat vomit, and we haven't even gotten to your insistence that you seem to know it all - even the stuff that you are yet to discover. i suppose you could be psychic, but i don't buy into that sugar honey iced tea so that excuse wouldn't work for me anyway. - speaking of tea, i am in love with the strawberry flavoured iced tea at tea two, and one day hope to own one of their beautiful tea sets. note to self: must start drinking tea so that i can justify buying pretty patterned tea pots. but i digress.
where were we? oh, right. please, stop, talking. i cannot name names but in my mind there is a very clear picture of the intended recipient for this message. and seeing as this is where a lot of the things from my mind end up - a catchment for thoughts, if you will (considering it has been pouring with rain i thought i might throw in some water imagery) - i am thinking this is the appropriate place to vent my current frustrations, which i have harboured for quite some time. back to whom it should concern... when you speak, it more oft than not sets people's teeth on edge, and makes them want to commit semi-violent acts. or at least tell you to firme la bouche. or le bouche. i don't really speak french, so i stand corrected on that phrase. please remember, you are entitled to your own opinion, but you don't always have to voice it, and if you really must, please voice it as just that - an OPINION. and on that note, others are entitled to opinions also. so stop, in the name of love, before i break your face. just kidding. but seriously, you need to cease and desist with the tone of voice which conveys that you are of the belief that the words that come out of your mouth are the be-all and end-all of polite conversation, and try very hard to get out of the habit of shooting others down with that ever-annoying 'no...' when they dare to contradict you.
it's not polite, it's not endearing, it's downright unattractive and will lose you friends fast, especially in the chapter of your life that you are about to enter into.
while i am all for healthy debate, and power to you for having such strong opinions, there is a fine line between opinionated and pig-headed. please remember this, and perhaps get a prescription for some glasses if you find you are struggling to see this line.
thankyou.
now, on a happier note, a list of things that are lovely and that in my humble opinion (see what i did there?), should be tried at least twice.
- vegetable tempura
- flavoured iced tea
- music of an unfamiliar genre
- rollerblading
- measuring people's heads with a tape measure whilst on a train
- an activity outside of your comfort zone/usual interests
- viewing a live performance such as a ballet, opera or play
- a tv show/movie in a different language. japan has some great ones, i strongly reccomend deathnote, nana and swing girls.
ciao for now.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
just casually chilling with a wiggles bandaid over my nozzie piercing ;) now, to sing a song:
last night i had the strangest dream, i sailed away to china in a little rowboat to find ya, and you said you had to get your laundry cleaned. didn't want no one to hold you what does that mean? and you said
ain't nothing gonna break my stride,et cetera
... you're on the road and now you're plain as gone. the road behind was rocky, but now you're feelin cocky, you look at me and you see your past. is that the reason why you're running so fast? and you said...
go on, finish it. i know you want to. ;)
ps, i would probably marry most of the cast of Inception. maybe not all at once. leo di caprio is still amazing, joseph gordon-levitt is the best, and ellen page is just...wow.
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