Hello, My Name Is...

Seriously Fucked-up Individual.

it's true. it's also quite evident from this blog.

if you don't believe be just see for yourself. 

disclaimer: this is not a pity party. this is me venting. hopefully it will be theraputic. if not, it will at least result in boring anyone who is bothering to read this (and if you don't, i don't blame you) to tears.

i have issues. i think i peaked too soon in my academic career. and now, when it's supposed to matter the most, i've lost all motivation. i'll probably end up working at my crappy hospitality job for the rest of my life. what a sad thought. 

when i look back on my former self, there are so many things i yearn to be now, that i probably didn't even appreciate when i had them.

1. i was thin. 

2. i was motivated, i did my work, i got good grades. i was a good student.

3. i was a nerd. i wish i still was...

i know it's stupid to dwell on the past and live in the land of if only. but that doesn't stop me. some days, all i want to do is curl up in bed and lose myself in the world of books, where i can pretend i'm a part of some fictional character's life and leave my own behind. 

sigh.

all i am now is selfish, angry, unmotivated, depressed, unattractive, unwanted, unseen, underachieving, and a whole myriad of other 'un' words. 

it's really quite upsetting.