being a potterhead on my blog #1

NB: click post to view properly and recieve full comedic effect

... i laugh. i laughed. i have laughed.

ATS2715

What i wanted to write as my introduction for my research essay for Sexuality and Society. however, sadly, i fear i cannot, so instead i will subject my readers (if any) to what i think is some decent writing from me (which these days, is few and far between)
enjoy.


“Don’t have sex. Or you will get pregnant, and die.” These famous wise words were uttered by the character of Coach Carr as he teaches health class in the ever-popular teen movie “Mean Girls” (directed by Mark Waters, screenplay by Tina Fey, based on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes” by Rosalind Wiseman, starring actress and role model Lindsay Lohan). Apart from serving as testament to Tina Fey’s comedic genius, the well-known and many-times quoted line is a shining example (albeit somewhat exaggerated) of one of the all-too-common discourses of school-based sex education (SBSE) that is found in many classrooms the world over. Evidence of such a discourse is found in Michelle Fine’s works which focus on the “missing discourse of desire” (Fine, 1988) in SBSE, however she terms it the discourse of “sexuality as violence, defined as focusing on the potential risks adolescents – in particular, adolescent females – face should they become involved in sexual activity. Supporting Fine’s argument and validating the research topic to present-day is Laina Bay-Cheng, in her article “The Trouble of Teen Sex: the construction of adolescent sexuality through school-based sexuality education” (2010). In Bay-Cheng’s article, she argues that current SBSE programs in the U.S are negatively focused, narrow-minded in terms of definitions of sexuality (reinforcing heteronormative concepts of sexuality), and proliferating racist, sexist and classist notions of sexuality. All this from my favourite Mean Girls quote... oi vey.

other?

NB: i realise that the initial view does not show the full image. please click on the image before reading this post to view the entire image. :)
just thought i'd share this, because i thought it was absolutely fantastic. i am currently taking a unit called 'sexuality and society' at uni, which is a branch of sociology. it looks at many aspects of sexuality in relation to societal norms and such, for example we have so far looked at sexual citizenship, Ruben's sexual hierarchy, sexual scripts, relationships and intimacy, polygamous and polyamorous relationships,  and our most recent topic was transgender people and others who identify as something outside of the male/female binary. it's an absolutely fascinating subject, and it has opened my eyes to just how restrictive our society is, how utterly exclusive we can be towards those who identify with anything outside of our narrow, heteronormative, nuclear societal laws and opinions. this exclusion can be illustrated in something as simple as a form on which we must specify our gender. has anyone else noticed that most forms only ever offer two options - male or female? and how rarely we are allowed to leave these blank? before this particular class i never gave it a second thought, but now that i am aware of how many people feel that they cannot tick either of those two options, or want to tick both, i realise just how controlling and restrictive our society can be, and is. so when i saw this picture, which is one a friend of mine took of a survey she had to complete for university, i was quite excited to see that there are at least some insitituions, however few and far between, that do offer a third option. 


even then, as my lecturer argued, the option 'other' so often holds the negative connotation of being unusual, socially deviant, or problematic. however, it is progress, and that's always a great start. 
well done, whoever made this survey.


cheers. 

Hello, My Name Is...

Seriously Fucked-up Individual.

it's true. it's also quite evident from this blog.

if you don't believe be just see for yourself. 

disclaimer: this is not a pity party. this is me venting. hopefully it will be theraputic. if not, it will at least result in boring anyone who is bothering to read this (and if you don't, i don't blame you) to tears.

i have issues. i think i peaked too soon in my academic career. and now, when it's supposed to matter the most, i've lost all motivation. i'll probably end up working at my crappy hospitality job for the rest of my life. what a sad thought. 

when i look back on my former self, there are so many things i yearn to be now, that i probably didn't even appreciate when i had them.

1. i was thin. 

2. i was motivated, i did my work, i got good grades. i was a good student.

3. i was a nerd. i wish i still was...

i know it's stupid to dwell on the past and live in the land of if only. but that doesn't stop me. some days, all i want to do is curl up in bed and lose myself in the world of books, where i can pretend i'm a part of some fictional character's life and leave my own behind. 

sigh.

all i am now is selfish, angry, unmotivated, depressed, unattractive, unwanted, unseen, underachieving, and a whole myriad of other 'un' words. 

it's really quite upsetting. 

my playlist

so this is totally cliche and unoriginal but i feel i should do it. plus, i want to. this is a list of all the artists in my itunes. GO


Agnes Obel
Alana Grace
Angus & Julia
Anna Nalick
Arcade Fire
Arctic Monkeys
Arrah & the Ferns
Art vs Science
Audrey Hepburn
Ball Park Music
Band of Skulls
Barry Louis Polisar
Beach Fossils
Belle & Sebastian
Benjamin Francis Leftwich
Bishop Allen
Bombay Bicycle Club
Bon Iver
Boy & Bear
Brie Larson
Cher
Christina Aguilera
City & Colour
Colourblind
The Cure
Damien Jurado
Darwin Deez
Devendra Banhart
Ellie Goulding
Elliott Smith
Elton John
Emiliana Torrini
Fionn Regan
Fleet Foxes
Florence and the Machine
Foster the People
French Films
Goo Goo Dolls
The Good Scissors
Gotye
Gregory and the Hawk
Grizzly Bear
Gypsy and the Cat
The Honey Trees
HUSKY
Ingrid Michaelson
Iwan Rheon
James Blunt
Jinja Safari
Joe Hisaishi
Joel Fenton
Josh Pyke
Justin Timberlake
Kate Nash
Kate Voegele
The Kinks
The Kooks
La Dispute
Landon Pigg
Lenka
The Libertines
Lily Allen
A Lion Named Roar
Lisa Mitchell
Little Red
Marble Sounds
Matt Corby
Matthew and the Atlas
Mika
Mindy Gledhill
Modest Mouse
The Naked and Famous
Noah and the Whale
Norah Jones
Oren Lavie
Owl Eyes
The Paper Kites
Paul Tiernan
Peter, Bjorn & John
Phoenix
P!nk
Plumtree
Princess Chelsea
Rachael Yamagata
Red Berry Plum
Regina Spektor
Ron Pope
The Ronettes
Rosie and Me
The Script
Semisonic
Seth Sentry
She & Him
Shout Out Louds
Simple Minds
Sleepyhands
The Submarines
Teddy Geiger
Tom Milek
The Troggs
Two Door Cinema Club
Vampire Weekend
Vetiver
We Are Scientists
Wheatus
The Wombats
Young the Giant

invisibility cloak

sometimes, i feel like Simon Bellamy. (if you are not acquainted with this character, go watch misfits right now.)
which is to mean, for those unacquainted ones, that i on occasion feel invisible, translucent, "Mr Cellophane, shoulda been my name cos you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know i'm there" to quote Chicago lyrics.

it's a little bit pathetic, i don't like to be a doormat, a mantlepiece, an observer, a benchwarmer. by nature, i am very much the opposite. a leader, not a follower. i am a cat, and i walk by myself, she quotes resolutely, in reference to a favorite childhood bedtime story. i am the mouse walking through the deep, dark wood, who claims to have a dining appointment with a gruffalow. small and insignificant in looks, unpredictably bold in personality. however, another rather strong trait of my persona oftentimes is at conflict with said boldness. the trait of mine which is often praised, is unfortunately my befallment. the desire to please others, an innert niceness- for want of a better phrase.

this is me, and as i grow the bolder side strengthens, however at times it overpowers and backfires in unpleasant ways. i can only hope that in the future, as i continue to grow and change, that these two opposites of my character are able to find balance, a happy middle.

i refuse to be a pushover, yet i desire to be well-liked. in time, i hope, this will be achieved.

bloom.

In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you.

Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out.

Can I be close to you?


i'm erratic, irrational (at times), indecisive, impulsive, affectionate, intimate, i like to whistle, music gives my heart wings, some would say i'm a tired cliche, others something they've
never seen, i dare to be different, but i'm also quite scared, prone to being taken unawares, more often than what is sensible, unprepared. forgetfull of "important things" but i remember everything, every word and sound and secret, every whisper and which-way, no sense of direction, i don't know where i'm headed, but i'll skip down a windy road, connecting the dots, colouring outside the lines, breaking the rules. one day, i'll find my place.