this is a list.

So.
a confidant once told me that i was a "passive aggressive person". that basically means that i avoid confrontation as much as possible, being 'passive' which would be okay, only the things that i choose not to react to build up until eventually it all bursts forth in 'aggressive' mode. it's kind of like a swinging pendulum in a grandfather clock. instead of swinging back and forth evenly in the middle, i swing slowly from one end of the spectrum, the 'passive' side to 'aggressive' at the opposite end. i was fairly happy with this analogy of myself. i admit that i do tend to avoid confrontation due partially to having been told in the past that i 'over-react' to little things. when i was younger, i used to confront everything that upset me, i was a 'fighter'. but when i realised that fighting back was not achieving desired results, i stopped reacting. i chose instead to let things slide, telling myself each time 'it's not worth it'. this seems to work quite well most of the time, and would probably suit me fine except that i have a slight tendency to overthink things. okay, more than just slight. i think a lot, and sometimes thinking turns to brooding, or even fuming. so all these little annoyances build up, until i reach breaking point, like a kettle boiling hot water. when this happens, when i can no longer suppress my feelings, it will take something as little as a comment about my appearance or someone just talking to me when i don't want to be talked to, to tip me over the edge. which is bad, but i guess that goes without saying.

now, it's not a great idea to bottle things up and let them build up until you reach breaking point, but its also not the best idea to go around snapping back at people every time something pisses you off. so when i asked the aforementioned confidant what i should do, they suggested that i make a list of all the little annoyances throughout the day and reflect on said list, maybe write about each of the annoyances in a diary or talk about them with someone, anything to let the frustration out and ensure they don't build up and bother me.
now it's been a while since i was suggested to try this exercise so i thought i'd do it now, in rather general terms so as to avoid being whiny or bitchy.
here goes.

A LIST OF THINGS THAT IRKED ME TODAY
1. why must people insist on imposing their personalities and interests on others, when they know that 'others' are not interested in liking what they like? whats it to you if i don't like the same music, books, clothing, people or movies as you? everyone's different. i'm a firm believer in 'to each their own'. sure, if you want to play me a song/recommend a book/suggest i watch a certain movie i'll be more than happy to give it a try, but if i try it and don't like it, just let me be. i'm not insulting your taste or the things that you like, i'm just saying they don't do it for me. please don't be offended by that.

2. while we're on the subject, the same goes for things i like. i generally try to be respectful of other people's interests and mindful of people's feelings, so naturally it'd be nice if others reciprocated this policy. if i mention something that i think is the bee's knees, while the thought of this very thing might make you want to vomit, i'd appreciate it if you kept any I-Lang (Inflammatory language, i.e. any language that might personally offend the other person) to yourself. remember: "to each their own." if you don't dig the band that currently dominates my playlist, just politely say so, for example "Oh, they're not really my thing" or "i don't like them that much personally", minus the unnecessary "that's so shit, how can you like that?" or other words to that effect. i don't care if you don't like it, but i do, so it kind of hurts when people diss what i'm into unnecessarily.

3. Patronization. (i believe this is a word, however i stand corrected if it's not)
there is really nothing worse than being patronised. like really, is it necessary to belittle people like so many often do? i think not. there are other ways of conveying your opinion without insulting your audience. patronising can take the form of a facial expression, a tone of voice, choice of vocabulary or even body language. not to say i am not guilty of doing this from time to time. but it just really irks me when people feel the need to do it constantly. this especially applies when one is teaching. patronising in my books is definately top five in how to get your student's back up.

4. putting other people down to cover up your own mistakes. just. don't. do it. seriously. if you want to march around, loudly and annoyingly making a repuation for yourself that, to be fair is probably deserved, however pigheadedly you go about this, then be prepared to live up to said reputation. now i know that nobody's perfect, and it's hard to live up to other people's standards all the time, but when you can't, please please please be willing to acknowledge this with good grace and move on. it may sound hard, to pass on aswering a question because you know you are unable to do so correctly, but it is much better to simply say "sorry i don't know this time" than to point a finger (physically or metaphorically) at others in attempt to detract attention from your own shortcomings while making them feel and look like an idiot. the former method will a)result in your own lack of answers to be forgotten because really, no one actually cares and b)end well for all involved. no one gets hurt.

now i must return to more tedious but necessary tasks and so i will bid you goodnight.