personalised plates are tacky.

NB: my aim is not to insult, rather to educate, and perhaps to entertain. here's a grain of salt. take it or leave it. 

the above image says it all. really, unless you are driving a car used for a business of some kind which demands that you advertise on your car, thus such plates are a requisite, then really, you should stick with the randomised number/letter combination that comes with your vehicle. personalised number plates are tacky, ostentatious, and advertise to the world quite blithely that you are a twat with an IQ of zero. 


seriously, think about it. idiots with personalised plates either get their name/some inane version of their name that makes them sound like they're twelve, or some other ridiculous word that either seeks to insult their fellow motorists, is a pathetic attempt at a weak joke, or declares that they are a 'CUTIE!!' or 'sexy!'. which is really just arrogance in its purest form. not to mention, personalised plates are more often than not obnoxious and in some cases, potentially a safety hazard to oneself and other drivers. 


there are so many things wrong with all of the above options for personalised plates that i really don't know where to begin. but, i shall try. because unlike those who insist on telling the driving world whenever they get into their car that they are named 'Melz!' or that they want to 'FUMAN', i have a higher intelligence level than that stated on the accurately chosen, however misguided, plates above belonging to a QLD-residing fellow.


1. personalised plates with a name/nickname:
why would you want everyone else on the road to know your name? are you trying to pick up? are you in some kind of freeway-located alcoholics anonymous meeting? are you working at a drive-through in some kind of parallel universe where the employees are in the car as well as the customers? or perhaps you're just overly friendly? because i can't really think of many other situations in which you would want to tell the whole world your name, or worse, your ill-begotten nickname. the nickname plates in particular, may be taken to imply that you have regressed permanently into childhood/adolescence. which is totally contradictory of your ability to own and drive a car, since, unless i am mistaken, is a privilege belonging to adults? it's stupid, it's immature, it's unnecessary, it's a little dangerous because paedophiles and stalkers do exist, and also nobody cares. go home. 


2. insults:
why would having a lisence plate bearing an insult be a bad idea? oh i don't know, maybe because it's RUDE? it's also immature, very much like the name/nickname scenario. grow up.


3. jokes:
nobody else gets them. and even if they do, jokes grow old fast. you lack originality. you are making a ridiculous impression of yourself on your fellow motorists and anyone else who might happen to see your car. you might even offend someone. if you want to be comical, get a red nose and some oversized shoes and invest in a large tent. or better yet, find a brick wall. 


4. descriptors:
i couldn't really find an umbrella term for those plates that surpass the other types of personalised plates in the category of moronic. but really, i shouldn't have to explain why it's utterly idiotic to have a lisence plate with the word 'QT93' or '2QL4SQL' or 'LGND22' on it. in doing so, you are telling the world a number of things. one, you can't spell. two, you are extremely conceited to want to declare to the general public that you are of the opinion that you're 'cute', 'sexy', or a 'legend'. thirdly, once again, you are extremely immature and have not progressed from adolescence. vacant, ditsy, self-centred and obnoxious are also words that come to mind.


i have neither the time nor the inclination to continue this rant, suffice it to say that i think this post has served its purpose well enough. i hope i have imparted some semblence of wisdom unto those planning to purchase personalised plates in the near future, as well as those already in ownership of such offensive articles. they're a waste of money, they portray oneself as a twat, and really they're just stupid.


goodnight.