List of reasons why I'm an awful Human Being

so, a few things you should know. number one, Dan is amazing. i love him. he is a beautiful human being. 
numero deux, there are few things in this life that i despise more than admitting when i am wrong.
thirdly, the (word of the day) amalgamation of the above two facts has thus inspired this post, which is my own version (or a response, if you like) of the reasons why I, the silent screamer, am an awful human being also. let's hope this is as cleansing as it is probably very embarrassing. 

1. I don't hold doors open for people. I really don't know why. perhaps i am just incredibly self-centred, but whenever the opportunity arises for me to do so, it does not occur to me until the moment has passed, and i end up looking like a massive twat. sorry. 

2. i'm really awkward in the situation of bumping into someone i know whilst out and about. whether this person be friend, foe or a mere acquaintance, or worse, a friend of my parents', rather than being charming and lovely, i am just the ultimate awkward turtle. pregnant pauses (i HATE that phrase with a passion), crickets chirping, fake smiles, weird jokes, the whole deal. SHAMEEEEE

3. I don't answer my phone when i can't be bothered talking to the caller. I know, i know. it's really rude. i blame caller ID. ugh this is such a terrible habit. i just. i can't. 

4. I have a total and utter, all-eclipsing incapability of putting things back where they bloody well belong! this probably explains why my life is more often than not in a state of complete disorder, and i KNOW that it's really not that hard, however each time i take something from its original place, only to decide i don't need it, i will nine times out of ten, WHILE the thought 'i should put this back in it's correct place' is flashing in my brain in neon lights, i STILL will put it somewhere else. because i am LAZY. ugh

5. I cut people off during conversation. yes, i am one of those. no more be said.

this is making me cringe way too much to continue. however i think it may have been a helpful exercise. if you don't hate me after reading this, you deserve to be sainted. or knighted.