an unsure pen

"if i can't love you as a lover i will love you as a friend"
what. a. lie.
considering, you won't even let me have the latter option. which i'd imagine you'd prefer. but you won't even give me a chance. and i'm done apologising, i'm done bending over backwards to try and make you happy. i was there for you from the start, i listened to you every time even though my heart was breaking, but the minute you find out something you don't want to know, you run away like a little bitch, and i'm left yet again to pick up the pieces. i hate the idea of ending what has been such an amazing year on a bad note, and so i won't. i refuse to be dragged "by the wrist into a pit to be devoured" be despair, i've been there one too many times before, only this time i have a feeling you'll be more than happy to leave me to struggle to get myself out. so i'm not going to even go there. i'm sorry i couldn't be the person you wanted me to be, but i guess i never really knew what exactly that was. i still believe you're a good person, i've seen that in you. but i can't attach myself to that person anymore. because i need to be strong, and right now all this is doing is making me weaker. i have so many amazing people in my life. it seems a pity that you no longer want to be one of them. just know, i don't hate you. i'm just confused as to how you wanted this to turn out.