a barnum and bailey world

so,
i wrote this in response to 'A Streetcar named Desire', because Allen Grey intrigues me...

I turn from the mirror,
A careful façade firmly in place
On my face; chiseled jaw, smoldering eyes
I really don’t know how she falls for my disguise.
My few, carefully chosen words cover a
myriad of weaknesses. Yes, weaknesses.
Because I am the weakest of all.
Coward. Sissy boy. Pansy.
The words echo dully in my head, cold truth.
She thinks I’m strong, she’s so wrong.
I despise this inner fight; it keeps me up every night.
While she sleeps on, restless but restful, I lie awake,
Every fiber of my being used to suppress the sobs
That battle to break free of my crybaby-boy lips.
In the morning, daylight is a harsh spotlight
On my shadows, tell-tale signs of my shortcomings.
If only she knew…Perish the thought!
It will be okay, I can keep up this charade.
I have to. Because I do love her, and if I cannot
Give her what she needs; I can at least pretend,
If only for her.