thursday. the day before friday. normally, i'd be happy about that. only one more day to get through before the weekend. only a short distance to paddle before another island. only a while further to walk through the desert before the next oasis. however, this week isn't a normal week, and therefore thursday is not a happy day. instead, it's another opportunity wasted. another few inches that the door's been closed. another chance to talk - gone. and i can't get it back. the clock's ticking, minutes disappearing all too fast. soon, it will be too late. and then what could have been will become what will never be.
the weight gets heavier with every word that i write. right now, precious moments are slipping away like sand through an hourglass. each day, those memories, already blurred, grow fainter. i want to hold onto what happened that night. not the events that everyone saw, that everyone talked about. no, the memories of whispered words, words that echo through my mind until they become etched into my brain, those are the memories that i hold onto.
"more than you can imagine"
more and more, i'm starting to think that they were words never uttered, rather, merely a product of my then-intoxicated brain. the thought is a crashing wave of disappointment, which i suspect has been suppressed for some time by a bank of denial. am i grasping at straws?
i wish i'd waited for longer today before walking. or something.
*sigh*
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