take me away

photography by Emily. 

so,

who else doesn't give a fuck about who won a presidential campaign on the OTHER SIDE of the world?

post-gym pondering.

who keeps score when the match begins?
who keeps watch when time starts to spin?
who keeps calling when they won't let us in?
who keeps singing when they burned up all the hymns?

we fumble through those sleep-soaked mornings
groggy but not boozed, and the larks call out warnings
you checked us in last night mate, but i won't be your pawn in
all these games you try to play, the beat says it's time to fall in

scornful sinners kiss the ground
whilst cynics synchronise their frowns
their condescending grins too loud
as they descend upon the crowd

i'm clueless, stupid, young, naive
i'm changing, growing, not knowing
what i should believe
and it's only a paper moon
shining 'pon a cardboard sea
but it's not make-believe just because
you refuse to believe in me. 

dirt 'n' daisies.

and now folks, it's time for the song titles/band names story game!
those in the know will know what there is to know about the rules of the game.
for the unenlightened:

participants will attempt to create a lengthy, meaningful or humorous story/sentence using the names of songs or band and/or artist names. 

the way i would like to play it here is in the form of an interactive forum in which i will start by providing a list (random or otherwise, depending on how i feel) of song titles and leave my faithful readers (if any) to put said titles into a story. 

this game will either be a screaming success, a way to procrastinate, or a huge embarrassing fail in which it becomes revealed that no one actually reads this blog and i have no friends in the blogosphere.
either way, it will be fun.

and so i bring you the first of many fine song titles to be used in this magnificent game of wits. 

Nine, no-one needs to know, no-one wants a lover, oats we sow, ocean breathes salty, oh well okay, oh hark.

gogogo!!



p.s. if anyone wants the artists of the above titles, they are, respectively:
La Dispute, The Jungle Giants, Josh Pyke, Gregory and the Hawk, Modest Mouse, Elliott Smith, and Lisa Mitchell. 

chippa chappa choo

crickets.

this is getting ridiculous. i'm not stupid. if there's something wrong, TELL ME. so i can fix it. or move on. toxicity only serves to bring me down. 

perhaps i should run away and start anew? 

so little time, so much to do.

help, if i want it? for a limited time only. why does everything great never last?

apathy at its finest.

i think i've got the mean reds

i believe i should have chosen a different course

have i wasted 2 years of my life?

have i entrenched myself in a worthless, wasteful, wistful existence?

is my poetic soul over-dramatising things as per usual, or are these feelings legitimate?

the sense of worth i once felt having written a perfectly constructed literature analysis essay or a creative piece based around the theme of 'whose reality', or even spent several hours rehearsing a detailed study on hikikomori for japanese, is alien and long absent from my life.

i go through the motions, i procrastinate, avoid, or leave things incomplete. i FAIL. 

capital F. i do things i shouldn't, knowingly, uncaring, and then wallow in a pit of regret like quicksand. 

i feel as though life is a game of noughts and crosses, and i have placed my 'x' in the wrong square, thus crossing out any chance i might have of a bright future. 

perhaps i could do something about this, however i feel as though i have dug myself too deeply into this pit of despair, ill-fortune and misconduct, to find my way out without some serious intervention.

which would mean admitting honestly how far i have strayed, which is something we all know i'm not good at. to say the least.

apathy runs deep. laziness has overtaken. and now i wallow. 

to wish impossible things...

awww-worthy

click to view.

childhood reflections

anyone remember these?

"my eyes are dim i cannot see i have not brought my specks with me. i have not brought my specks with me. there was sam, sam, pushing a pram in the store, in the store, there was sam, sam, eating cheese and ham in the quarter master's store..."

"alice, where are you going? upstairs to have a bath. alice, with legs like toothpicks and a neck like a gir-raff-raff-raff-raff-raffe. alice, jumped in the bathtub. pulled out the plug and then. ohmygoodnessohmysoul, there goes alice down the hole! alice, where are you going? glug, glug, glug..."

"my mum is in the kitchen, my dad is in the shed.
my nan is in her rocking chair and pop's asleep in bed.
my brother's stripped his motorbike although it's about to rain.
my sister's playing ricky martin over and over again.
what a dim old family, what a dreary lot!
sometimes i think i'm the only SUPERSTAR they've got!"

"my old blue shirt is tattered and torn. the collar is crumpled and the elbows are worn.
the sleeve got ripped when i climbed a tree. there's a big dark stain where i spilled my tea.
but even so, i love my blue shirt, though it's tattered and battered and covered in dirt."

"underneath the sea/ far away from land/ that's where i will be/ shaking on the sand/ rattling in my rigging/ dithering on my deck/ i'm just a ner-err-err-errvous wreck."

"when mr clickety cane plays a silly game, all the kids in the street, they like to do the same. wash your face with orange juice, clean your teeth with bubble gum.." et cetera

or perhaps i just had a poetic childhood. 

this sucks.

this is my blog therefore i am going to be as bitchy and miserable as i like and if you've got a problem, the door's thattaway. 

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY
IS IT ALWAYS MEEEEEE
or rather
not me. 
ugh
destined to be a university dropout and a crazy cat lady forever.
maybe i'll just retreat into a cottage atop a mountain in switzerland with some goats for company, and i can spend my days picking flowers and teaching lonely goatherds to read, heidi-style??

sigh

even heidi got with peter in the end...

i might just wallow in self pity for a while, then take up yogic meditation.

stealth and subterfuge

it's been a while, but i'm back, and we all know what that means... someone has an essay due like yesterday, and is therefore going through the 5 stages of procrastination... stage 3, avoidance. BLOG TIME!

tumbling in fitfull dreams

tangled in unfamiliar sheets

drowning in a mattress sea

to my left you rest easy

oh sleep, why must you evade me?

my eyelids beg, my body pleads

the sandman dances lazy circles around me

the clock ticks away lost time

when in dreamland, you could have been mine,

but alas for my torturous mind,

bringing up memories i can never rewind

just take me to another night

where you kissed me out of sight

and out of spite i refused to fight

but i hate this stalemate, 

where our words all sound so trite

eh... it doesn't flow, it's lazy in places, but i guess it's a start.  ?

you only live once?

hungers ended
friends amended
fingers chilling
time overfilling
pockets empty
spot you a twenty
taxi driver likes her hair
smoke is swirling through the air
people dancing everywhere
lost on a beach now
can't find the stairs
surprising lovers
worrying mothers
attention waning
you all keep me sane
withdrawal draws attention
joke to ease the tension
on action we're thriving
don't care who's driving
late nights and weary mornings
and endless loop, going through the motions
minimal effort
when will it all stop?
good things must come to an end
but for now let's just pretend
we're living in a moment
certain realities pass without comment
right or wrong, sometimes i ignore it,
but i'm writing again now
perhaps i can keep track of it,
replaying cliches
at least it's a start
in fact, i might be getting back on track
losing keys and using keys
getting lost to find my way
inadvertent philosophy?
now i'm rambling
perhaps i'm gambling 
time's a wasting
conscience is chasing
to bed i'm retreating
one goodnight, but never goodbye. 

musing on favorites

head spinning

birds singing

procrastinating

haters hating

test i'm failing

later today

i interrupted

this flow i was building

now i sound gangster

take it to the bank, sir

three bags full sir

whitest black sheep here

slept like a baby

don't call me maybe

write proper decent music

and use it, use it.

the wind is biting.

i shouldn't but i drag and it alleviates my doubts

And slight inebriation takes the edge off darker thoughts

It started with a kiss and ended with a tired cliché

And dried mud on my brand new shoes will never go away

Iambic beats dance through my headspace

When you start to play

and just because it’s automatic i will sway

toss my hair pretend i care

when will you walk away

we stopped for water tried to order

only traffic lights keep us at bay

...just playing. feedback welcome. getting back on the horse, maybe. eh. 

watermelon nights

smoky inhalations do alleviate my doubts,

and i placidly accept the fact that

none of us is sure of what this

game is all about

i crossed your name off in my mind

and sketched you on my skin

tracing lines down that distant wall

the lights grow dim

and we all know

its time for him to sing.

plucks out a tentative string of notes

whistles a melody

riddled with shakiness,

assure you i wish i could,

regretting that drink i should

have bought you.

i imagine scotch-soaked montages

we'd share.

instead i sway and sip my beer

and breathe in the musky air.

those nights.

for You.

graduated class of 'ten
never tried to be classy then
broke all my guitar strings
trying to tune out on the din

spinning round in circles
need a ciggy for a headspin
smoking gives you cancer
only morals hold me back now.

baby hold me close tonight
pretend you care, i'll be alright
glassy eyes, pour us a glass of wine,
it'll bleed out on the floor
i'll hum along cos you're not in tune
whistle a song to change the mood
and now i ramble,
it's probably too soon.

gonna end this now 'fore I dig my grave
those pretty lights, they all did fade
please stutter me a simple tune
and i'll drive for miles to remember you.

let's go fly a kite and send it soaring

a to-do list...

1. spend a rainy day curled up watching all the john hughes/bratpack movies and eating easymac.

2. actually attempt to cook decent vegetarian dishes that require more skill and effort than easymac.

3. learn to play the guitar and harmonica. 

4. re-learn piano.

5. swim in the freezing cold ocean.

6. actually study.

7. get lost and have fun finding my way back.

8. re-attempt proper writing. 

9. go to bed early. as in, before 10pm.

10. fly a kite. 

11. go hiking.

if you don't like me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

this is a tad overdue but..

things i find strange about high school now that i am a big bad uni kid:

* not being allowed to eat in class... i find this so strange. like, you had to ask permission and have a damn good reason to be consuming anything other than H20 and pharmaceuticals in class, and even then it was a HUGE deal. i really don't understand it. you get hungry. you eat. why should one have to be totally covert like tom cruise in mission impossible in order to eat so much as a breath mint? weird weird weird.

* uniform. enough said. i love how you can go from the one extreme of it being the most focused upon thing in the school universe, to the complete and total opposite of no one even caring.

* the amount of useless, irrelevant information you are expected to consume. i feel like with uni, its all about the essentials.

* the people, and how they seem to merge together. there are people i'm friends with at uni that if i'd gone to school with them, we'd have nothing to do with one another. i also love how you get a totally fresh start, with no predisposed expectations of who you are. 

* the number of pretentious idiots. guys, it's totally ok to let your bogan flag fly, or wear trackies, or watch trashy reality tv, or engage in activities that aren't always intelligence-enriching, educational, serious, indie or all of the above. chill the eff out. 


umm thats all for now because i want to retreat to bed and read the hunger games. 
laters

"the mind has an ear of its own, and sometimes memory is the fiercest fucking DJ alive..."

(Brilliance)

hold the phone.

"they say time's a healer, but my watch can't tell the time. the left hand stuck six months ago and i can't find the right."

(Alex Day, amazing English philosopher/musician/demigod/ghost-writer of youtube slashfic/vlogger extraordinare/etc)

"just make sure you stop before it ceases to become experimentation. and remember, the feeling of greater world perspective and thought enhancement is just an illusion. it's simply your brain acting differently. you're not experiencing ultimate reality, you're not closer to the truth- you're just high."

(Um. i shall refer to the source of this beautifully worded mini-lecture as Professor of Russian Literature and Slavic Languages. he's not in the band. and he is not my dad. he might punch you.)

"when i get to heaven/i mean if i get to it/higher than planes go/but not quite space yet/no more sober notes/no more nine to five/just blue and white and ecstasy/when i get to heaven."

(Francolin, an incredible band with whom you should familiarise yourself with if you have not done so already. they have a youtube channel and are on facebook, you can listen to their stuff for free but should really support them, their ep is not expensive.)

thats all for now, just some gems i thought i'd share.

Gutenacht.

for every one person who tries to hurt you, there's at least three who've got your back. 

champagne made out of slaves

haterz

i'll remind everyone who reads this blog that it is an apology-free zone for me. and justin beiber is rather talented, so there. haters gonna hate. 

haters gonna hate.

...is actually a really good philosophy to live one's life by. think about it, there's always going to be someone out there who decides to judge or make you feel bad for who you are and what you do. and most likely they will have no qualms about making their feelings known to you. often in a less than polite manner. but at the end of the day, who really cares about what those people think? most likely they are unhappy about their own lives, therefore your life must be better. so in the end, you're winning. people who hate only seek to bring us down. the only way to win is to not let them win! brush off the negativity, do not let the mud stick. for every one person who is a hater in your life, there are probably 10 people who love you, believe in you, and who think you are amazing. i never thought until now that my old high school motto would hold so much meaning. let your light so shine!

what is wrong at the end of the day

random things i hate/dislike/do not understand/find frustrating et cetera


1. people who wear necklaces/bracelets with their name/initials on them... WHY? worried you might forget your own name? just don't do it. 


2. personalised number plates (see blog earlier this year)


3. hair extensions. grow your own damn hair!! 


4. people who chop off all their hair and then immediately get hair extensions. WHAT IS THE POINT. 
also, they look tacky and fake.


5. fake tan when there is no occasion. no. just no. everyone knows it's not real.


6. people who order takeaway coffee, leave, and then come back and complain because the coffee is cold. well it wouldn't be cold if you waited the full minute it takes to make said coffee, and then consumed it right away now would it??


7. people who overtake you on the road and slow down in front of you. *rages*


8. people who stand on the non-standing side of the escalator, thus blocking those who choose to walk up the escalator. you can last a few seconds without standing next to your other half. you'll be fine, i PROMISE. 


9. the 'preplum'. this is a personal dislike. i just think it looks stupid. but that's just me. i'm sure people can pull it off. i just think there have been better trends through the ages.


10. people who see the movie but don't read the book. NOOOOOOOOO.


11. annyoing people on trains. this pertains to the loud ipod listeners, the phone conversation broadcasters, the scary paranoid derro threateners, the squealy teeny bopper females, the disgusting coughers/hackers/sniffers/etc, the more than one seat taker-uppers, and the rowdy football supporters. 


and some things i like:


1. people who always make an effort to hand out compliments to everyone they talk to.


2. blueberry danishes from bread top


3. amazing indie bands such as Francolin, Georgia Fair, Dirt Farmer, etc who are just so talented and really need to be recognised more


4. buskers


5. polite people on trains. this pertains to people who give up their seats, people who give directions to tourists, the readers, the hilarious guy who watched a movie on his laptop and very seductively stroked his laptop keyboard, much to the amusement of my friend and i, and the cute mx 'heres looking at you' composers.


6. chai lattes from the camino


7. the hunger games


8. rainy afternoons spent curled on the couch with a blanket, a book and a cup of tea. bliss.


9. cute english youtube vloggers


10. Alfred Hitchcock movies


11. brunch dates

INTERROBANG

that's a right neet buzzer!

so this video helped me through a very dark time...the death of my beloved ipod. *sobs*
chris is beautiful, dan is great, they're both hilarious. i love brits on youtube. 

Zumba fitness and naked emma watson

Healthy Lifestyle...

so i haven't done one of these in a while because well, i'l be honest, i haven't been maintaining an overly healthy lifestyle. however, i'm getting back on track. i've decided to buy myself some weights, and ive been experimenting with some healthy recipies. i made a great tofu and veggie stir-fry with malaysian satay sauce the other day, which is great if you're lazy when it comes to cooking like i am. literally all i did was chop up some veggies, cut up the 'ready to eat' tofu and throw it all in the wok with the pre-bought sauce for five minutes. also kiwi fruit is in season at the moment which makes eating fruit easier. just have to beat those night-time cravings for junk food and i'll be on my way! 

swoon

he's beautiful

Obsessing

Trippin'

too much candy gonna rot your soul.

Favorite Juno Quotes

just cause...


"Oh, you think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages up there? Well, my five year old daughter could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So why don't you go back to night school in Mantino and learn a real trade."


"Leah: yo yo yiggady yo
Juno: I'm a suicide risk
Leah: Juno? 
Juno: No, it's morgan freeman. do you have any bones that need collecting?
Leah: only the one in my pants"


"You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events. "


"Juno: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know... 
Paulie: I try really hard, actually"


"That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet."


"He is the cheese to my macaroni."


"All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned! "


"I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face. "


"I don't want you to get ripped off by a couple of baby-starved wing-nuts. "


"I was thinking i could like, have this baby, and give it to someone who really needs it, like a woman with a bum ovary, or a couple nice lesbos"


"Jesus appreciates your miracle!!"


"welcome to women now where women are trusted friends. please raise your hands where i can see them and surrender any bombs"

damn skippy

so the other day in a moment of youtube coolliking i was made aware of the Google Verb Tag game, whereby one types their name and a verb enclosed in quotation marks thus: "Name likes" into google, and hilarity ensues. i was a little curious so i decided to give it a go, and here is what the geniuses at Google Search came up with:


I want...


... to be a pornstar (well i would say stripper, but okay, google, close enough)
... a spinoff (of my life? i'm not sure about this one)
... to go home with craig. (well i only know two craigs, and one is my cousin, and the other i'm sure my mother would very much like me to go home with, but me, personally? no thanks.)
... to be kept woman (er...sure?)
... to say hello (HELLO!)


I am...


... in Africa (i have been in the past, yes)
... a nail geek 
My personal favorite: ... not a lesbian, sorry Jen. 
... a technique for mapping brain activity by recording magnetic fields produced by electrical currents (my homage to psychology, tee hee)
... a self-conscious teenage girl (no longer a teenager, but okay)


I like


... To drink urine (no thankyou)
... green tea (yeah it's okay)
... shovels
... eating bubbles (i actually did this as a child)
... to drink
... juice


Random:


is going to Paris with Grace and Emma
prefers grass...not content with sitting on the mats, she doesn't sit on the fence either. she's sitting on the grass, and that's that. (OKAY!)
Prefers Brighton to LA
prefers kosher or sea salt
prefers not to participate in activities that take her outside of her home




the verdict? Hilarity did ensue a little bit, however i did learn that google isn't as accurate as we'd like to believe. Ciao for now. 

today sucked. 

day 13 a picture of your favorite artist 
Norah Jones

she moves in her own way

smog

fog on the glass
condensation building
they told us the end was nigh,
that the ice caps were melting

will we drown first in ignorance or fear?
will arrogance or obedience prevail?
why do we choose to be unaware,
as around us our world derails?

blindfolded fools standing in a line
atop a metal cliff,
shoulder to shoulder yet worlds apart
with hardened hearts and backs so stiff

literacy drops and books are burned
the screen grows before our glassy eyes
we can adjust the brightness and predict what comes next,
albiet our impending demise.

attempting

books stacked to the ceiling
lone lamp burning bright in the tent
unsure about some feelings
forgive, forget, regress, relent?

some words scribbled down in vague order
pencil going blunt, so maybe soon i'll stop.
but now i'm in gear and i've crossed the boarder,
i've looked down and now it's a long way from the top.

upside down is a disorienting thing
when along the way did i forget how to sing?
you could tell me about your favorite things
and perhaps i'll find it inspiring

baby don't indulge me by hiding my wings
i cried over burnt bread when you fried my head
it's cold when it's winter and there's frost on the grass
is this my way back in? here's hoping this lasts.

Billy Brown

celebrities in hats vier : Owl Eyes/Brooke Addamo

somehow her face looks a bit vertically stretched and i don't understand how but it's probably safe to blame that on my technological inadequacy. 

day 27- picture of yourself and a family member. 


so what we've established thus far from this challenge thing is my inability to choose one thing. here we have, from top to bottom, a picture of me and my spunky little cousin josh at another cousin's wedding, with me wearing his stylish hat. 
second is me with my biological brother and my japanese sister rina at the place where i now work.
third is my lovely japanese host family with me in their living room . left to right: rina, me, manami and okaasan (aka mum) takako. 

Potterhead numero toi

healthy lifestyle day 1

so im trying this new thing where i live as healthily as possible. i figure that blogging about it regularly will hold me somewhat accountable and keep me on the right path, unlike other countless failed attempts at this goal. so today, i ate strawberries instead of biscuits, avocado mash on toast instead of doritos and sour cream, and made myself a delicious smoothie. later i am going to piloxing for my excercise for the day. hopefully in the near future these pots will be marginally more creative and interesting to read. smoothie recipe:berry yogurt, strawberries, mango, 'smart juice' (containing banana, mango, passionfruit, orange, apple, ginseng, ginkgo and something else i cant remember),place in blender and blend BLEND BLEND!!!! (charlie reference for the unenlightened)
enjoy. 

saucy cream

day 9- a picture of the person who has gotten you through the most... dis crazy betch. she a'ight. 

day 18- a picture of your biggest insecurity. 

it's leviOsar, not levioSAR.

and now it's time for today's episode of... CELEBRITIES IN HATS... starring Emma Watson. ahh isn't she just amazing. 

out the window

day 30- a picture of someone you miss

i really miss my Japanese sisters Misaki and Rina ... Aishteru <3

breaking all the rules

i didn't like/couldn't do a few of the next photo challenges that were next up, but then again, who said you had to do them in order? anyway, here's day 11- a picture of something you hate:
THIS SONG IS SO STUPID ARGHHHHH 
it irks me so

stupid song, stupid lyrics, stupid autotuned melody, stupid girl. why. is. this. song. popular. 
i don't even know if this picture is from the film clip because i don't watch film clips of music i don't like. 

got my itunes stuck on replay.

day 6 - a picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day... 

my gorgeous puppy Bella. and yes, she is a person, and no, i did not name her after Shitelight. this picture doesn't really do her justice, because she doesn't like having her photo taken but shes the cutest puppy i've ever seen (in my entirely non-biased opinion), and she seems to have a pretty good life. everyone thinks she's adorable so she gets lots of cuddles, and she doesnt have to go to work or school. all she does is sleep, play and eat. pretty good life, if you ask me. 

troll.

so i just need to get something off my chest before i go to bed... i rewatched an adorable youtube video of Alex Day and Carrie Fletcher's version of 'This Kiss', and i couldn't help but notice the amount of negativity in the comments... GUYS! what's wrong with everyone!? people seem to get so fired up over everything from the clothes vloggers are wearing to whether or not they are dating, from the quality of their music to their new haircut. and a good 80% of what's out there is pure negativity. can we PLEASE grow up and try to be a bit more aware that the people you're constantly taking down in your comments are actual human beings with feelings that could potentially be hurt? i mean, i'm sure most of them are bigger than that and don't care at all, but really there is no need for so much nastiness. if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all. i know this might seem a little hypocritical coming from someone who uses a decent amount of blog space to rant about things, and i'm not calling myself a saint in any way. 


BUT. at least i do my venting on a less-public forum where its a lot less likely that whoever i'm talking about is going to find and be hurt by what i'm saying. and to be fair, this blog was started initially as a form of therapy for me when i was stressed during VCE. my point i guess is that there is a difference between healthy venting and being constantly derogative and nasty about people you don't even know who are genuinely just trying to put their stuff out there. case in point, the This Kiss video by Alex Day. he's a genuine guy who is a musician trying to put his music out in the world. if you don't like his style, don't watch his videos and post mean comments. for one thing he probably doesn't care, and for another it's not nice for people who actually like him to have to read all that negativity.
also, should he happen upon some of the harsher comments out there, he would potentially get a bit upset. i mean, it's not nice reading nasty things about yourself.


how would you feel if you went onto your facebook account to find that people had filled your wall with horrible comments about everything from your new t-shirt to the photos of you at your sister's wedding? it would hurt. the same thing applies to youtube artists. just because they're famous, successful and in a public forum, doesn't make it right to be as nasty and hurtful as you can towards them. why can't we just be nice?


anyway i'll blog properly about this sometime. gnight. 

you've got that one thing

okay so i'm officially fangirling right now... but i remembered (perhaps a bit late) that a long time ago i made a resolution that i wouldn't apologise on this blog because well, it's my blog, and it's a spillage of my overprocessed thoughts. and this is definitely and example of overprocessed thought. Alex Day is a god. he's incredibly talented and funny, but he's also down-to-earth and quite deep. he's a genuine person, there's no bullshit with him.  oh dear such a fan girl!! aughh. anywayyyy this is a beautiful cover by him and Carrie Hope Fletcher. don't knock it til you try it. their voices blend so perfectly together. 

It's a pivotal moment

day 5 - a photo of your favorite memory...

so we've already established that i'm breaking all the rules of this thing. i couldn't narrow it down to one photo but they're all from the same event, so it counts. My trip to Tanzania in 2009 with World Challenge...the most amazing thing i've ever done, hands down. from the top, the pictures go:
hiking Mt Kilimanjaro, our day hike in some amazing rainforest area, waterfalls we went swimming in, the end result of the hut we built for the Tagamenda single mother centre, and our safari. 

SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

i really really love this man. i think i should marry him. 
if i'd been in a blogging phase at the time of the royal wedding, i would have posted more than one rant about how stupid i thought the whole thing was, and how ridiculous the amount of publicity it got....ehh that sentence doesn't make sense. bleugh
anyway. the point is. the royal wedding was stupid. Alex is right. no-one cares, they're just two rich strangers getting married. 'thats nice', move on. 
thankyou, Nerimon. 

i don't know what day i'm supposed to be up to...

so here's day four... eh im not doing so well with this am i? 
a picture of your favorite night... thats a really difficult thing to narrow down, and i don't know if i even have a photo... um...look i've had a lot of really great nights so i'm not even going to try and narrow it down. also, i've had a lot of good nights in the last year and a bit but have gotten into the bad habit of not really taking photos with a camera anymore. mostly because i need a new camera. i do take photos on my phone, but i don't have the technological skills to upload those onto a computer. i'm very computer-illiterate. sorry.


here's a couple of photos from recent fun times... 

 the first are photos from the photobooth at the burlesque ball i went to for uni last year, with my friend Tess. we had a ball (haha i'm soooo punny. er...) 

and this photo is from the christmas party from work that we had last year. me and Rhi were team Chicken Strips. we went as the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. yeah.

in the interest of full disclosure, while these were both great nights, the ones i would define as the 'best' are unfortunately not committed to film... perhaps because i was too busy enjoying myself to take photos. oh well. 

I will follow where you lead

a picture of the cast from your favorite show

it was a tough call but i picked the gilmore girls...because they're just lovely. 

obviously this isn't the entire cast, there are a few fairly important characters missing, like Babette, Morey, Logan, Taylor, et cetera. but there we have it. 

i feel like doing one of those school photo things where they tell you what everyone's names are. i'll do the characters names as opposed to the actors because this is about the show...

top: (left to right)

Lane Kim, Michel Gerard, Paris Geller (related to Monica and Ross perhaps? oooh there's something you never thought of! aha), Emily and Richard Gilmore, Sookie St James, Miss Patty, Kirk

bottom: JESS MARIANO (in my opinion, the best of Rory's boyfriends), LUKE DANES (sigh), Lorelai Victoria Gilmore (aka the Reigning Lorelai Gilmore) and Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, more commonly known as Rory Gilmore, Dean Forester (ugh)

there you have it.

this show is amazing.

"Lorelai: Alright! Bring, bring. Hi Rory, how are you? Rory: Hi Mom, Logan's in town! Lorelai: Oh my goodness! That's wonderful! Rory: We're farming rutabagas!Lorelai: Oh, you're a filthy child! I will disown you, bringing your father to dinner! Pickles, pickles, pickles smell, pickle train conducting! Rory: Alas! Alack! Lorelai: Good talk! Rory: The best! Lorelai: Bye!"

iamextremelyimpatientsohereisday2

too impatient for space bar, apparently. day 2, a picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest...

this be AMY.
Amy and i have been friends since we met in prep. we've been friends for nearly 15 years, which i think is amazing in itself. Amy is something of an inspiration to me. if she were catholic, she would be a saint. Amy is the single most hard-working, honest, selfless, caring and generous person i know. she is far beyond her years, she thinks constantly of others, she is one of the smartest people i have ever met, and i know she will go on to do great things in life. how do i know this? because, she already IS doing great things. she's fluent in french and chinese, has set and conquered many goals beyond her own comfort zone, she is loved by everyone who knows her, and she has put up with me for 15 years. Amy's also hilarious. her stories about the funny and crazy things her family gets up to never cease to make me get a sixpack from laughing so hard. she's also really easy to scare, which makes for some fun times. (sorry Amy! had to throw that in there). Amy and i used to walk around the playground having d & m's in prep, and we haven't stopped talking since. Amy's likes include Nicki Minaj, eating junk food with me, going on fabulous holidays with her family and being a die-hard collingwood supporter. (the fact that i have admitted ON THE INTERNET that i am friends with a nicki minaj and collingwood fan is a mark of how great our friendship is, i think). 
some of my favorite memories of spending time with this girl include being chased by psychotic chickens, attending my first and last football match, being called 'morons' by a crazy lady in the city out the front of Mrs Fields, and many many more that are too numerous to mention here because this post is already reaching gigantic proportions. i could talk forever about how much i love this girl. the bottom line is, she is always there for me, she's my rock, she's beautiful and she's my best friend. 


fun fact: amy has magic toes!!! 

I don't know who Jerry is

day 1 - a picture of yourself with ten facts
NB: I'M NOT GOING TO PUT ANY THOUGHT INTO THIS. AT ALL. 
(maybe)

1. i am a vegetarian
2. i procrastinate waaaay too much
3. i'm a potterhead
4. my favorite thing to do is curl up with a blanket, a book, and a delicious beverage.
5. i'm a geek
6. i'm a daddy's girl
7. my mum is wonderful
8. i laugh at ridiculous things
9. i'm sleep deprived right now
10. i've got the travel bug baaaad
11. i've forgotten how to speak japanese. gomennasai!!
12. i totally went over the 10 facts thing. oops. 


see? already not working. aughh

eh...

my lazy attempt to keep myself blogging somewhat consistently. but we all know that i don't tend to stick to things for too long when it comes to le blog. let's see how long i keep this up...
sorry i know it's cliched.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your favorite night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself

sigh...

Emily Blunt. gosh, she's so damn sexy. Sexy celebrities in hats. this could be a thing...

sorry i realise now that the previous post was a bit long. here's a picture of carey mulligan. isn't she cute?

Vitamin C

so i haven't written anything of substance on this blog in a while, and before i go on, i'd like to disclaim (can that be a verb? it is now) that just because the beginning of this sentence insinuates that this post will be 'of substance', does not mean it will. so there. i just crushed your hopes. sorry.


however this is not to say that my past few posts have been devoid of substance. they are in fact overflowing with substance. they are SUBSTANTIAL. yeah. 
but, sadly, they were created by others more substantial-like than myself. i just wanted to give kudos. and hopefully share a few giggles. because laughter is the best medicine, and tis the season for coughing and sneezing fa la la *ATCHYOO* cough cough la la... 


did i mention i have a cold? well i do. it's horrible. it means i can't breathe through my nose when i sleep so i'm constantly thirsty, so i have to drink too much water and then... yeah. we all know what it's like. it's the COMMON cold. auhggngghh


so over the last couple of days i have been procrastinating from doing my essay for a subject that i really hate because it was full of feminist tripe with no counteractive male perspective whatsoever. instead of doing this essay i have been watching witty, pretty, british (that almost rhymed) guys on youtube by the names of charlie and alex. i have been choking with laughter and starting to think in a british accent. which is fun. i've also been enjoying the lovely presents my mother bought me, because she's a wonderful person who buys me nice presents for no reason other than, she's great. these presents are a purple mink blanket which is really warm, and a purple dressing down which is also really warm.


it's funny, because purple isn't even my favorite colour, but people seem to think it is because i have a lot of stuff that's purple and i often use purple font when i do blogs and such like. but really, it's just because purple is a pleasant colour and my actual favorite colour yellow is had to wear a lot of or write in because people don't seem to like reading yellow font...
so yeah. there's that explained. i did mention at the start that this post may not be very substance-filled. i did warn you.


here's some bad things that have happened to me recently:
i have to write a horrible long essay about a subject i hate.
i then have to study for exams for subjects i also hate. 
it's winter. it's cold. 
yesterday my stupid drink bottle leaked in my bag and soaked through all my stuff including one of my favorite murder mysteries by Tess Gerritsen :(
i have a cold.


some nice things in my life however are:
i have a new blanket and dressing down to keep me cozy and warm
i have discovered charlie mcdonnell and alex day
i finally saw the hunger games, which is excellent
semester horrible is over
i've got some exciting social events coming up
i saw boy & bear in concert, and they were fantastic. Tim Hart is wonderful.
as a result of seeing boy & bear, i also got to discover two other bands that i now love. Tin Sparrow and The Jungle Giants.


so there we have it. i wrote something, for a change. however it probably made for some not very good reading. sorry. again i did warn you. 


Cheerio. 

best ever. choke laughing. i know i did.

"stupid stephanie meyer this is not how you book!"

potterhead # 3...WHAT THE SLASHFIC!?

au revoir, little biscuit :)

Neil Cicierega is boss.

personalised plates are tacky.

NB: my aim is not to insult, rather to educate, and perhaps to entertain. here's a grain of salt. take it or leave it. 

the above image says it all. really, unless you are driving a car used for a business of some kind which demands that you advertise on your car, thus such plates are a requisite, then really, you should stick with the randomised number/letter combination that comes with your vehicle. personalised number plates are tacky, ostentatious, and advertise to the world quite blithely that you are a twat with an IQ of zero. 


seriously, think about it. idiots with personalised plates either get their name/some inane version of their name that makes them sound like they're twelve, or some other ridiculous word that either seeks to insult their fellow motorists, is a pathetic attempt at a weak joke, or declares that they are a 'CUTIE!!' or 'sexy!'. which is really just arrogance in its purest form. not to mention, personalised plates are more often than not obnoxious and in some cases, potentially a safety hazard to oneself and other drivers. 


there are so many things wrong with all of the above options for personalised plates that i really don't know where to begin. but, i shall try. because unlike those who insist on telling the driving world whenever they get into their car that they are named 'Melz!' or that they want to 'FUMAN', i have a higher intelligence level than that stated on the accurately chosen, however misguided, plates above belonging to a QLD-residing fellow.


1. personalised plates with a name/nickname:
why would you want everyone else on the road to know your name? are you trying to pick up? are you in some kind of freeway-located alcoholics anonymous meeting? are you working at a drive-through in some kind of parallel universe where the employees are in the car as well as the customers? or perhaps you're just overly friendly? because i can't really think of many other situations in which you would want to tell the whole world your name, or worse, your ill-begotten nickname. the nickname plates in particular, may be taken to imply that you have regressed permanently into childhood/adolescence. which is totally contradictory of your ability to own and drive a car, since, unless i am mistaken, is a privilege belonging to adults? it's stupid, it's immature, it's unnecessary, it's a little dangerous because paedophiles and stalkers do exist, and also nobody cares. go home. 


2. insults:
why would having a lisence plate bearing an insult be a bad idea? oh i don't know, maybe because it's RUDE? it's also immature, very much like the name/nickname scenario. grow up.


3. jokes:
nobody else gets them. and even if they do, jokes grow old fast. you lack originality. you are making a ridiculous impression of yourself on your fellow motorists and anyone else who might happen to see your car. you might even offend someone. if you want to be comical, get a red nose and some oversized shoes and invest in a large tent. or better yet, find a brick wall. 


4. descriptors:
i couldn't really find an umbrella term for those plates that surpass the other types of personalised plates in the category of moronic. but really, i shouldn't have to explain why it's utterly idiotic to have a lisence plate with the word 'QT93' or '2QL4SQL' or 'LGND22' on it. in doing so, you are telling the world a number of things. one, you can't spell. two, you are extremely conceited to want to declare to the general public that you are of the opinion that you're 'cute', 'sexy', or a 'legend'. thirdly, once again, you are extremely immature and have not progressed from adolescence. vacant, ditsy, self-centred and obnoxious are also words that come to mind.


i have neither the time nor the inclination to continue this rant, suffice it to say that i think this post has served its purpose well enough. i hope i have imparted some semblence of wisdom unto those planning to purchase personalised plates in the near future, as well as those already in ownership of such offensive articles. they're a waste of money, they portray oneself as a twat, and really they're just stupid.


goodnight. 

potterhead #2

being a potterhead on my blog #1

NB: click post to view properly and recieve full comedic effect

... i laugh. i laughed. i have laughed.

ATS2715

What i wanted to write as my introduction for my research essay for Sexuality and Society. however, sadly, i fear i cannot, so instead i will subject my readers (if any) to what i think is some decent writing from me (which these days, is few and far between)
enjoy.


“Don’t have sex. Or you will get pregnant, and die.” These famous wise words were uttered by the character of Coach Carr as he teaches health class in the ever-popular teen movie “Mean Girls” (directed by Mark Waters, screenplay by Tina Fey, based on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes” by Rosalind Wiseman, starring actress and role model Lindsay Lohan). Apart from serving as testament to Tina Fey’s comedic genius, the well-known and many-times quoted line is a shining example (albeit somewhat exaggerated) of one of the all-too-common discourses of school-based sex education (SBSE) that is found in many classrooms the world over. Evidence of such a discourse is found in Michelle Fine’s works which focus on the “missing discourse of desire” (Fine, 1988) in SBSE, however she terms it the discourse of “sexuality as violence, defined as focusing on the potential risks adolescents – in particular, adolescent females – face should they become involved in sexual activity. Supporting Fine’s argument and validating the research topic to present-day is Laina Bay-Cheng, in her article “The Trouble of Teen Sex: the construction of adolescent sexuality through school-based sexuality education” (2010). In Bay-Cheng’s article, she argues that current SBSE programs in the U.S are negatively focused, narrow-minded in terms of definitions of sexuality (reinforcing heteronormative concepts of sexuality), and proliferating racist, sexist and classist notions of sexuality. All this from my favourite Mean Girls quote... oi vey.

other?

NB: i realise that the initial view does not show the full image. please click on the image before reading this post to view the entire image. :)
just thought i'd share this, because i thought it was absolutely fantastic. i am currently taking a unit called 'sexuality and society' at uni, which is a branch of sociology. it looks at many aspects of sexuality in relation to societal norms and such, for example we have so far looked at sexual citizenship, Ruben's sexual hierarchy, sexual scripts, relationships and intimacy, polygamous and polyamorous relationships,  and our most recent topic was transgender people and others who identify as something outside of the male/female binary. it's an absolutely fascinating subject, and it has opened my eyes to just how restrictive our society is, how utterly exclusive we can be towards those who identify with anything outside of our narrow, heteronormative, nuclear societal laws and opinions. this exclusion can be illustrated in something as simple as a form on which we must specify our gender. has anyone else noticed that most forms only ever offer two options - male or female? and how rarely we are allowed to leave these blank? before this particular class i never gave it a second thought, but now that i am aware of how many people feel that they cannot tick either of those two options, or want to tick both, i realise just how controlling and restrictive our society can be, and is. so when i saw this picture, which is one a friend of mine took of a survey she had to complete for university, i was quite excited to see that there are at least some insitituions, however few and far between, that do offer a third option. 


even then, as my lecturer argued, the option 'other' so often holds the negative connotation of being unusual, socially deviant, or problematic. however, it is progress, and that's always a great start. 
well done, whoever made this survey.


cheers. 

Hello, My Name Is...

Seriously Fucked-up Individual.

it's true. it's also quite evident from this blog.

if you don't believe be just see for yourself. 

disclaimer: this is not a pity party. this is me venting. hopefully it will be theraputic. if not, it will at least result in boring anyone who is bothering to read this (and if you don't, i don't blame you) to tears.

i have issues. i think i peaked too soon in my academic career. and now, when it's supposed to matter the most, i've lost all motivation. i'll probably end up working at my crappy hospitality job for the rest of my life. what a sad thought. 

when i look back on my former self, there are so many things i yearn to be now, that i probably didn't even appreciate when i had them.

1. i was thin. 

2. i was motivated, i did my work, i got good grades. i was a good student.

3. i was a nerd. i wish i still was...

i know it's stupid to dwell on the past and live in the land of if only. but that doesn't stop me. some days, all i want to do is curl up in bed and lose myself in the world of books, where i can pretend i'm a part of some fictional character's life and leave my own behind. 

sigh.

all i am now is selfish, angry, unmotivated, depressed, unattractive, unwanted, unseen, underachieving, and a whole myriad of other 'un' words. 

it's really quite upsetting.